Just after all that joyous celebration you may think we deserved it. "It" being something resembling flu.. From whence it came, I have my suspicions, but we caught it soon after Sophie, who developed similar symptoms whilst with us, and Stephen left for gay Paris. Whatever it was, there appears to be a lot of it around and it has laid us up with the fever and a lot more for the last three days. Never mind, it is a salient reminder of how things go wrong. We have recovered enough to write this blog with the help of "Neofren", "Paracetamol", "Lemsip" and, of course, the odd hot toddy.
It reminded me too of the letter I recently wrote, tongue in cheek, to a couple of our "sailor" friends:
Tillers and Tastebuds
Mes Amis, - bonjour matelot!
The real truth is - after all - that one's wife, being half French, is biased and unable to cope with the darker realities life on board. In her daily journal which she has kept up to date admirably, she eulogizes about these “Frenchies” and their way of life - the food, the wine, the weather, the space and sheer natural beauty of the place - and readers could be forgiven for acquiring a falsely idyllic impression about life in retirement on these dirty old waterways. But still, it has to be said, one is glad she came along too since she speaks French fluently, “et vraiment, sans accent” - that is, one has to admit, very useful.
Anyway, before saying “right, that’s it” and being tempted to do likewise - that is - to retire on a barge in France, one feels obliged to reveal some of the more colourful side, so that others can avoid making the mistakes made by those who have gone before - who may or may not have less “Savoir faire?”
However carefully one plans things however - what with all the paraphernalia taken on board before departing for France, like decent beer, Marmite, marmalade, Grapenuts and so on - how easy it is to leave out the really important though perhaps less obvious ones. There are two items worth mentioning in particular which have turned out to be invaluable to our very existence on board.
The first of these - a large magnet for the retrieval of things dropped overboard – was a gift from visiting friends. The second, a pair of good binoculars, intended for viewing the abundant bird life and bought at great expense for this purpose. Actually these have proved to be more useful for checking whether or not the lock gates ahead are open or closed when approaching at speed – this is most important when steering a twenty six ton barge with no brakes, I can tell you. More about that later….
Now the purpose of the first - this great big magnet with a long piece of string - will be immediately obvious to experienced sailors and it can be bought at any decent chandlery in England or France (which has very few). It retrieves almost anything that happens to drop overboard. It is of such impressive strength, so very powerfully strong, that it took my wife and a chisel to prize it off the refrigerator door.
When losing such things as that favorite screwdriver, a bag of ball bearings, a bucket or even a bicycle, it is invaluable - at once, one reaches for the magnet and string, one dangles it over the side and up it comes.
But when precious new binoculars, believed to be - but clearly not - carefully strapped and safely around the neck, fall in to the foaming Yonne, ones magnet is of disappointing value. To save others hours of river dragging, one can now advise them that, although there is plenty of other ferrous junk in these waterways, there is absolutely nothing that is attracted to a magnet in a pair of binoculars.
Being wise after the event, one might suggest that to attach a metal key tab to such non-ferrous valuables, may help in their, albeit soggy, retrieval. Ones wallet is another example particularly if kept in the back pocket of trousers…then there’s ones spectacles kept in the shirt pocket, and so on, ….enough said.
Anyway the truth is that the binoculars now lie useless, except perhaps to some myopic cat fish, on the river bed (had to buy another pair) and the essential magnet is stuck firmly to one’s bottom (forgive me – our steel hull), well below the water line, where it will no doubt remain until one has it scraped in three years time.
We continue our wonderful journey!
Further Titles To Come: 
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We venture into France by 2 CV Van in search of our “Body and Soul”
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How important it is to know what ones boat is for, before buying one.
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“Don’t they know about the delights of Marmite on baguettes?”
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“Deux chiens, mais oui, trois chien, non!… mais quatre chiens, c’est impossible! - et dans un bateau de canal - ooh la la……!”
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“The internet or not the internet could be the question”
